We met in high school when his family moved from California to Mississippi. The year escapes me now, but I am sure that it was at least 10th grade, but I would have to look back at a year book to be sure. TG was larger than life, at times hyper and I am pretty sure bored out of his mind with the traditional class room. He LOVED music, was always singing and was the biggest flirt and joker I had ever met. We used to have these discussions about music, in particular, The L.A. band The Doors. There was a depth about him that drew me; a spiritual, fun-loving, prankster whose presence would visit me over the next 40 plus years.
I remember that he was fast as well, probably one of the fastest kids in school. At Thursday night marching band rehearsals, he would kick off his shoes and race others the distance of the football field. I never remember him losing. At the end of 1971 school year, my parents went through a rough patch and separated. TG was working at Safeway in Clarksdale and he encouraged me to put in an application. I did and for the first time, other than running a paper route or working in my dad's office, I had a real job making $1.60 per hour. TG made work fun. Every night we would sweep the store out, break down boxes, and run a mop over the whole store. Twice a week we would strip the floor and then put down a coat of wax. It was hard work, but it was fun because TG knew how to make it fun.
We graduated in the spring of 1972 and went our separate ways. I went to college and TG went to the Navy...I probably should have joined him there.
Fast forward to 2010 and I am in Nashville visiting Arita Shepard Harber and the subject of the Lee family came up. Arita had remained close to TG's sisters and so we called Mary I believe and got TG's phone number. In the course of the conversation, I found out that TG had spent 5 plus years in the Navy, was discharged, eventually moved to Florida, got his undergrad degree and then his law degree. LAW DEGREE!!! Not that he didn't have the capability; he was one of the smartest people I ever knew. It was just not where I expected to find TG after all of these years. I called and left a message on his law office phone and went back to Virginia.
Several days later, I got this call from my friend of so many years ago and it was as if time stood still. We talked for almost an hour, catching up on each other's life, loves, heartbreaks and joys. We determined to talk again. We did, one more time about a year later and it was a stimulating conversation and again we determined to get together. After all, his home in Greeneville, TN was on the road I took down to see my family.
In December of 2012, I was traveling south to see my family and to attend my niece's wedding in Mobile. As I passed the exit to Greeneville, I thought of TG and his wife Regina and had a thought to call him and at least say hello. It was late and I had an agenda to keep and I said to myself, "there will be another day" and I drove on.
Fast forward to July: TG's father Tony, Sr.is entering the last days of his life and TG's sister Becky posts a picture that will forever be etched into my brain. It was a picture of a son saying goodbye to his father. Tony, Sr. passed through the veil to the other side of eternity and I wanted to get a message to TG. I went on his law firm website and posted a message of condolence to him and his family with the promise that I would call. I am fairly certain that as I was posting my message that TG's family was gathered around him as he, too, passed though the veil. When Becky's post reached Facebook, I was shattered in my soul. Floods of regret came over me; regret fueled by the fact that I had opportunity to reach out and affirm to my friend the place of importance that he held in my life and I had failed.to follow through.
It is now early December, and the reality of his passing still doesn't seem real to me, yet, his wife recently posted a picture that was to me the epitome of the TG of my youth; the ever present smile and the confidence in those eyes. He will forever be in his 59th year, but he will live on as one of my great friends that I was fortunate to reconnect to before he crossed to Eternity. I love you, man...you were one of a kind!
It is now early December, and the reality of his passing still doesn't seem real to me, yet, his wife recently posted a picture that was to me the epitome of the TG of my youth; the ever present smile and the confidence in those eyes. He will forever be in his 59th year, but he will live on as one of my great friends that I was fortunate to reconnect to before he crossed to Eternity. I love you, man...you were one of a kind!
Thank you so much for posting your memories of my brother. It is so wonderful to see him through your perspective. I can easily see him joking, laughing, dancing and singing his way through hard work at Safeway because that was just his way of being. I can imagine him using the mop stick as a microphone and singing some Otis Redding or other deep soul or twangy country music. He was the goofiest, funniest, and yet the most serious person I have ever met. I'm so lucky that I could call him "brother"!
ReplyDeleteThe job at Safeway significantly effected the rest of his life. He became a butcher there and learned about cuts of meat and sharpening knives -- after that, he never bought ground meat from the grocery store. Instead, he would pick out a nice big roast or steak and ask the local butcher to grind it for him. He was very particular about his meat! He also started fighting for minority and union rights at Safeway -- later he became an attorney and specialized in helping people who really need help and fighting for real justice -- especially when it involved representing the weak against a BIG bully with lots of money or position of authority. He was unafraid of standing up to anything or anyone and would defend without hesitation. Turns out that being an attorney was the PERFECT job for him because he loved winning arguments and spinning a yarn -- and he was so great at it!
I, too, am sad that I didn't spend enough time with him before he died. Every time we spoke (seriously… EVERY time) he would tell me how great it is to live wherever he happened to be and how he had a plan for all of us (our parents, 3 sisters and our families) to live close by and open a business or work together and how successful and happy we would be, etc, etc. How I wish that I had moved and spent more time with him and others that I love and cherish. On the other hand, he loved me for being independent and making a successful life for myself in Dallas for the last 30 years. I have no regrets for not moving -- but, I'm not wasting the lesson of loss. In losing my dad and brother in July, I have learned the lesson that life is short and we never know if there will be a tomorrow. I know it's a common cliche: don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today, etc. But today -- I'm actually listening. Although I can't imagine what God's purpose would be in taking these fine men from us, I'm determined to NOT make their passing (my losses) go unnoticed in my life. And THAT is a little good thing that can come from this deep sorrow.
Thank you again for remembering and loving my family! :)